Here is a sample high-scoring start of an essay to the following essay topic:
‘Beneath the glitz and glamour, Sunset Boulevard reveals the dirtiness of the entertainment industry.’ Discuss.
Wilder portrays the illusion of the Hollywood dream as a powerful and glamorous magnet attracting young hopefuls to LA. The conspicuity of wealthy, famous, and otherwise powerful figures in Hollywood helps to perpetuate the pretence that success is readily achievable there. Norma’s great and even somewhat enduring fame is established early on, when Joe recognises her at her house, realising she’s “Norma Desmond” and “used to be big”. The enthralling promise of Hollywood that you can mix with the rich and famous is only further spun for both Joe and the audience in this scene, and Wilder thus helps his viewers feel the allure of this world first-hand. “Itching with ambition”, Joe clearly was drawn from his “desk in Ohio” in the hopes of achieving similar fame, his name up in lights, “original story by…” him. Although he is never able to truly attain this dream, his proximity to Norma means he is continuously tantalised by its possibility. Even after he protests at New Year’s against Norma gifting him a cigarette case, she reminds him she’s “got one million dollars” and oil “pumping, pumping, pumping”. The combination of this tricolon and Norma’s languorous drawl conveys the immensity of the wealth she has accumulated through the Hollywood system. The possibility of success is amplified by characters such as DeMille. The decision to cast DeMille as himself further reminds the audience that such successes do exist in the real world. Even Joe’s friend, the ever-cheery upstart Artie, seems only to be on the up and up: he has an apartment, a girlfriend, and, most desirably, a consistent assistant director job. Wilder thus conveys that although it is rare, the Hollywood dream of making it big is alive and well, both for his characters and his audience.
(294 words)
This would be a strong opening body paragraph about the idyllic facade of Hollywood. It has a strong topic and linking sentence, both of which relate directly back to the prompt and are easy to read. Additionally, it uses a mix of quotes and film techniques for evidence. The argument is complex and interesting, and overall it is easy to read without using basic vocabulary. In order to make it a little stronger, it could have slightly more analysis of what these quotes actually show about the characters' psychology, and thus the author's overall message.
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